Happy Gotcha Day!!!
Wow. When I think of this past year I am flooded with emotions. The past couple of days I have been saying thing like "a year ago we were just leaving, a year ago we were trying hard not to go stalk Chung Yi, a year ago I watched my baby girl walk into the room in the arms of her caregiver and my world stood still....". Actually, right now in Taiwan a good Internet friend of ours just experienced what did exactly one year ago today. She is in Taiwan picking her sweet little Miranda up, a darling baby I got to see while we were there picking Maya up. As I looked at the pictures she posted on her site I got tears in my eyes as all of the emotions I had came back. I have been very mindful of Maya's birth family this week. I know that over in Taiwan at this moment there is a mother and a father who have heavy hearts. I have been keeping them in my thoughts and prayers that they will have peace. I remember so vividly the pain in their eyes as they told her goodbye, I wanted to give her right back and make everything better for them. But I also knew in my heart that this was how it was supposed to be. I know we will reunite someday, but until we do I will do my best to make sure that my little girl understands the love her birth family has for her. That is the least I can do.
To say this year has been a piece of cake would be lying. We have had our ups and downs and while I have not posted a lot of the downs here on the blog, know that they do exist. The first few weeks when Maya completely rejected Dave were so hard on us that at times I wondered what I was thinking to bring this baby into our family and I wondered what I had done to the children I already had at home. It seemed like a series of small baby steps forward followed by several huge steps backwards. I was sad and frustrated much of those first few weeks. I know now that it was a small case of post adoption depression and a very large case of exhaustion.
After we made it through those first few weeks, things got much better. It was still hard, but Maya had attached to us both enough to finally begin to feel safe. We still took many baby steps forward only to get knocked down again, but this was different. She trusted me now and the steps back were not a big and more easily corrected. She bonded with her brothers. She began to really smile and the happy girl we have today began to give a little bit more of herself to us each day.
Watching her "layers" come off was amazing. She changed right before our eyes and settled into her new world. It is most evident in pictures. Her smile became genuine, her eyes light up, she became softer and gentler. She let us in to love her.
Today, it is as if she has been here from the beginning. The boys rarely talk about their adopted sister from Taiwan, she is simply their sister. And except the occasional person commenting on our family when we are out in the public we almost forget that she is adopted. Funny thing is that when she is with the whole family people tell us how much she looks like us, I raise my eyebrow a tad, but I think I understand what they mean. She has changed so much in the past year it amazes me.
Right now she runs through the house squealing and laughing. One year ago she was squealing in the taxi cab on the way back to the hotel after picking her up. Right now she lays her head on my shoulder and pats my back. One year ago she snuggled up on my shoulder and fell asleep after a day of sightseeing in her birth country. Right now she is patting me on the knees calling out momma. One year ago she was placed in my arms for the very first time and my whole world stood still.
We are so blessed.
